Anger - by Darylynn Starr Rank
March, 2005

Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions, even perhaps one of the most misunderstood words in the english language. It gets such a bad rap. 

Or, if you’d prefer phrasing that’s a bit more sophisticated, anger is often perceived in a far more negative light than it deserves.

It’s almost always seen as an evil, dangerous, ugly, awful part of us, that needs to be avoided or denied, or shoved down deep inside us, at all costs. 

But imagine for a minute a world devoid of anger.

You see an animal get mistreated and you shrug your shoulders. You see a child being abused and you turn your back. You see a race of people segregated and impoverished, oppressed and tormented, and you ignore it. 

At first glance it seems antithetical to many of us, but so much of the good that happens in the world is fueled, encouraged, motivated, even simply made visible, by the sheer existence and force of  righteous anger.

People get angry when they see something that is wrong, or unjust, or evil. And they fight back, or fight against it. They work for change. It happens every day.

Anger is also a great source of information in that giant processing machine we call our brain.  

Imagine this scene. You’re at work, killing yourself (metaphorically speaking) to get this project done by yesterday (which was already two days past the deadline). You’ve been working sixteen hour days, worrying at night so your sleep quota is way below what it should be. Your mate feels neglected and your kids went to school in dirty clothes. But you’re doing pretty well, all things considered. Though you don’t really understand why you’re so far behind.

Now it just so happens that every time you see one of your co-workers he appears to be talking on the telephone. But you’re too busy to really pay attention to that fact. It just doesn’t register. You’re way more focused on trying to get that report out, after all. 

And then you pass by and see him chatting on the phone one more time and suddenly you feel like ripping his phone out of the wall and tossing it out the window. Ah, ha. The information has finally processed into consciousness. Your co-worker is slacking off. Big time. This project is as much his responsibility as yours. And he ain’t doing his part. 

Now the reason you finally realized it was simply that your anger kicked in.

So of course there’s no ripping phones out of walls or tossing it out the window, but you do go and have a chat with him, civilized as can be (and you get to feel reallly proud of yourself for showing such good control). He hangs up the phone sheepishly, pitches in with a gigantic effort (hey, it’s my column so I can be as optimistic as I want), and the report goes out that afternoon. Anger as information. 

We all know that the inappropriate expression of anger can be deeply destructive. But anger is also a profoundly important part of who we are. And without it’s motivational powers and informational assets, we’d be lost in a  hundred different ways. 

So maybe we should consider starting to look at anger with a little bit more respect and understanding. Working with it may well be better than simply trying to shove it away.

Take care, all.

Darylynn Starr Rank (psychologist/writer) works part-time for Family Services of Greater Vancouver as a group facilitator. Her articles appear bi-weekly in The Record (New Westminster) and the Richmond Review.

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