Tuning in to Children Conference by Darylynn Starr Rank
So, it's the beginning of a new week. Let's start with Monday. You wake up to… oh my gosh… winter's really here. It's dark, cold and rainy. Your eleven year old daughter traipses into the kitchen in the same outfit she wore the first week of school - this year. Tiny little short skirt, sleeveless top, sandals.
"Darling, it's a little too cold for that outfit this morning. Why don't you go put on something warmer."
"I won't be cold."
"But…"
"I'm fine! Leave me alone! Why can't I wear what I want to wear."
And the two of you are off and running. Who's gonna win this battle of wills?
Tuesday afternoon. Your seven year old son, bright as a whip, especially given all the extra training and tutoring you've been doing to get his mind sharp as a razor, comes stomping into the house, throwing his books down on the floor.
"What's wrong, Petey?"
"The other kids just never play what I want to play. I hate them! I really hate them."
"What do they want to play?"
"Oh, they always want to play tag. I hate tag!"
"Well, it really wouldn't hurt you to play it for a little while, would it?"
"Yes, it would! I'm going to my room!"
You know he's spending way to much of his time in his room alone. But what are you going to do, drag him out by the hair to play with his friends?
Wednesday, for goodness sakes, is all quiet. But that's mostly because, you've got a meeting that night and the kids all have activities in the afternoon.
Thursday after dinner is the "Family Meeting". Which you're actually kind of dreading at this point. Your list of chores the kids didn't do this week is extra long. And you're really tired of feeling like a nag.
It takes exactly five minutes for the whole thing to blow up in your face. Forget about the kids getting mad. This time it's your husband who stomps off when you very sweetly remind him he's supposed to take Eleanor to soccer practice Mondays and Wednesdays.
Friday nights are supposed to be "Fun Night With the Family". You've rented the perfect video, and even bought everyone's favourite brownies from the bakery. You all gather round the TV with brownies and milk and warm feelings about being together. (Except for all those other feelings that are floating around inside you - and them - from this exasperating week.)
Pete spills his milk. You blow. It's as simple as that. This time it's you who stomps off to your bedroom after a quick exchange.
"Can't you even try to be a little careful."
"Gosh, mom, every single thing I do is wrong!"
You're outta there.
And Saturday at the grandparents is the final straw. Alice, your four year old, having spent the week successfully learning to read "Run Spot Run", appropriately runs into her grandfather's arms yelling, "Grandpa, Grandpa, I did it. I learned how to read this week."
Grandpa happily pulls out the Vancouver Sun and says, "show me!"
She doesn't stop crying for forty minutes.
Let's just skip Sunday.
So how would you like to spend one whole day exploring new and different ways to get through all those different days of the week - challenges of the week, actually! - with people who've spent a great deal of time and effort exploring these topics both at home with their own kids and professionally. Well, it's possible.
On November 22, the Adlerian Psychology Association of BC, the New Westminster School District, and Family Services of Greater Vancouver are celebrating National Child's Day, with a full day conference, Tuning In To Children: A Community Approach, for Parents, Early Childhood Educators, Counsellors, Professionals, Elementary School Teachers, and Community Members. It takes place at Lord Kelvin Community School, 1010 Hamilton Street, in New Westminster. Call 604-874-4614 ext. #12 for more information.
Take care, all.
Darylynn Starr Rank (psychologist/writer) works part-time for Family Services of Greater Vancouver as a group facilitator. Her articles appear bi-weekly in The Record (New Westminster) and the Richmond Review.
Back to Article Index |
